She left us for good.

While resting down in the early Monday crack of dawn, after performing the Dawn prayers and being the first day of Syawal six fasting, I was awaken when Tok Enda came hastily informing me that my beloved mum is not well, having pain and in misery. I immediately walked to my car and drove a few minutes away. The distance of about 200 meters was her house and when I arrived she was in pain indeed, and “Oh Allah Help her please”, my heart softly whisper. It was a scene, that I could never forget, but as her eldest son I was there for her, I notice her pain, her discomfort, her uneasiness and feeling helpless I tried to do whatever I could. I thought it could be just another stomach ache or some kind of food poisoning but alas, it was not.

She asked for help to assist her on the stool and I carried by hugging her up and then back on the bed, continuously in pain. She asked for her morning medicine which I found and gave her with a few sip of water, her lips were dry, her face sweating and she doesn't have enough strength to sit straight. “Oh Allah, You are the Greatest, Subhanallah”. While in pain she mentioned the words "rasa dah nak mati" which meant the feeling she was dying. I look at her in sympathy but what should I tell her at that moment, patience mum.

Before 8 am, I have SMS'ed and called my brothers and sisters to come immediately as I felt this time around it’s going to be serious. "MAK SAKIT KUAT" – Mother is seriously sick, was the message I passed to them, in my mind a thousand things to do, ambulance ? Doctor ? Massage ? What ? You won’t realise until it ended.

She requested for the ointment to be applied on her tummy and back and while I was rubbing she said not too hard, it’s too painful. I rub a few seconds and then her back another few second when suddenly she requested for some tissue as she felt vomiting, but it was not.

She laid down on her left and then on her right and asked some tissues as she felt like cleaning herself and I applied the tissue till she asked for her cover to be corrected which I did, and said, "DAH DAH OK" and suddenly there was a kind of calmness as she laid on her right and as if like resting or just about to sleep, but it was not either.

I was all the time by her side , the clock I guess was around 8:10am and I sat beside her not wanting to do anything to make her feel pain but again it was not, a minute or so, while I was rubbing her hair and her head I look around her face and OH MY GOD her eyes is open and stuck above and immediately I sense the soul is giving way, her breathing was a bit harder than usual, my instinct was just to recite the Oneness of God as much as I could on her ear. The left one, with The Kalimah of Tauhid, "There is no God but Allah" many times as I then notice the palms and her hand became insensitive and motionless and her breathing getting slower and slower, I am already in tears, as I am sure this is the end, and the “Izrail” has done his duty.

That few minutes earlier, I can't communicate with her anymore, it was like she has been driven away from our senses and in another part of the transition. She is observing something divinely in nature, she is what we say in the 'Nazak', Perils of Death.

Oh Allah, shower her with Mercy, with Forgiveness, with Blessing, Save passage in the other world in transit, Oh Allah, You are The Most Forgiving, Most Merciful and Most Benevolent.

You have taken her, we are sad she left us and we are glad she is now in your safe 'hands'. Take care of her till she reaches the final abode in your heaven. Ameen.


It was swift, intermingle with the feelings of pain, thirst and patience, the soul as we were taught was commanded by Izrail to come and return to the Creator, it was there, a few minutes of eventful moments, the moment she lay down, it has started to flow upwards towards the chest then the throat and then placed on purest silk to be presented to God. In happiness and in the care of The Creator, she underwent what she loved most, to meet Allah.

I thanked Allah for making me be with her for the past 1 month 20 days almost daily. There’s wisdom in it. Now I understand.